What Should've Been Post #2

My Embarrassing Moment
I made the mistake of trying to move in the middle of the mass amount of snow that unexpectedly came in mid-November. My wife was working night shifts at the hospital all week—lucky for her—meaning she was sleeping during the day. In her absence, I recruited my friend Dan to help with the quick move. Everything started like a piece of cake. I rented a U-Haul for the first time ever—I have never felt more like a man—, loaded everything up into two loads, situated the boxes into the new place, and was feeling pretty good about the accomplishment. I even set up the bed so my wife, who was sleeping at the old place, would be so incredibly impressed with me when she woke up and made it over to the new place to find that I had set up and made the bed. At this point I was convinced the hard work was done! Or so I thought.

Hard work brings about hunger, so Dan and I decided to hit up McDonald's on the way back to the U-haul place. We pulled into the McDonald's parking lot and of course there are no parking spots. I stopped the truck and looked around to evaluate my situation. In front of me is only thirty feet of empty space before curbing starts. On my immediate right is a building, and sitting parallel to my left is a slight dip with several cars parked. In a moment of panic—sweat rising to the surface of the skin on my arms— I decided to maneuver a u-turn; why I did not just back up, I’m not sure. But I will tell you two things: 1) The whole rear-wheel drive issue was foreign to me, and 2) Men subconsciously try to impress their friends with quick, whimsical decisions. I had almost completed the maneuver when I realized that my calculations were off by a few feet, putting me about two feet from the row of parked cars—on a slope. My first reaction was to try and back up the truck, which led to spinning tires. I'm imagining this truck slamming into the cars like a tree falling on a house during a windstorm—nothing you can do except watch it unfold. I tried that several times, but trying to back up an empty U-Haul on a slope proved to be impossible. At this point the McDonald’s crew is watching, as were the people driving by. Embarrassment and frustration was growing rapidly, the truck was inching closer to the parked cars, and de-icer wasn’t doing what it is supposed to do. I finally decided to ask the McDonald’s people if their cars happened to be the ones that the U-Haul was about to hit. Luckily the cars belonged to some of the crew and they were able to move them, allowing me to finish the maneuver without hitting anything. After thirty minutes of panic and several ounces of perspiration, I was able to enjoy a high-sodium content burger.

Last stop was the U-Haul place. I parked the truck, gathered my things, locked the doors, and headed to the after hours key drop-off. As I fumbled around for the keys it dawned on me that I had spaced grabbing the keys from the ignition—awesome. I checked the doors to see if maybe they were still unlocked, but they were not. I had officially proven to myself that I was incapable of operating a U-Haul.

And this is why you don’t do anything crazy, like moving and operating a U-Haul truck in the snow, without the presence of your wife's common sense!

Amp Thru Simp
Amplification through simplification can be dangerous because the creator of the image has the ability to break in to one’s mind and communicate on a very personal level. This is not dangerous in and of itself, but when the creator of the image desires to communicate something negative to an audience, it becomes way too easy of a task. The concept and practice is fascinating and very helpful for communication, but using it in a negative manner can lead to trouble.